Today I am going to tell you about a part of becoming parents that is often forgotten: pre-conception. By this, I mean the lapse of time preceding physical conception, or at least preceding the moment a couple has chosen to start trying. In a number of traditional medicines (ayurvedic, tibetan, maya, etc), this period is as if not more important that pregnancy itself. Because that's where we have the time to create space to welcome a child, in all spheres of our life, before the time-bomb that is pregnancy!
It is the perfect moment to take care of ourself on various levels: take care of our body, of our love life, of our space. Making space for this child too, asking questions, dealing with our fears. It's the perfect time to ask ourselves the big questions: Why do we want to welcome this child? What are the fears, or difficulties we can already predict, and how to prevent/deal with them? Of course, new things will always come up throughout our life as a parent, and we can't predict everything. But starting the process and looking at ourselves this early can make a big difference!
It's the perfect time to put some energy in our love life. Get closer, cultivate your complicity, work on establishing a better communication. Talk about our respective views on child rearing. To work on trigger points. Don't make the mistake of thinking a baby will solve your relationship issues. On the contrary, a baby will most likely aggravate them.
Take care of your body too. Prepare the nest. Why not try a detox, as much for the future mother than for the future father. Go for a better and more diverse nutrition, drink lots of water. Stop smoking, drinking and drug use. It is also recommended to stop taking hormonal contraceptives at least a few months before trying to conceive, to give the body a chance to find it's own rhythm again. There are also numerous alternative therapies that can help prepare the body for pregnancy, and that can also help when you are not being successful in trying, like acupuncture and osteopathy.
There are also spiritual ways to prepare for pregnancy. You can meditate, try to establish contact with your future child's soul. The results could surprise you! You can also consult a energy therapist or a hypnotherapist to help deal with your own birth trauma, or any other blockage that could affect your pregnancy or you life as a parent.
All this work, before even trying to conceive, will surely have large benefits on your relationship with your child, as much with your general health, than with your relationship with your partner, and the way you see yourself as a parent. In being able to attune to your child, and take them by the hand from the very beginning of life, free of fears and limitations that would have otherwise come up later.
Sometimes, some babies show up unplanned. It's never too late to do this work, even once the baby is already there. To create a bond with this baby and welcome him/her as soon as possible.
If you would like to know more on pre-conception, get tools and recipes, hear stories, things to read, contact me! I will soon offer a 3 hour class on preconception, especially created for couples who are in the process of starting a family.
Have a nice day!